s h i n e
i've started doing 30 days of hustle by jon acuff.
basically, you set a goal and work every day to achieve it for 30 days.
mine was to write every day. he asks you basic questions like how, what when, why, how to make it fun and creative, and so on…
for me, when he asked how i was going to make it fun, i struggled.
writing is already fun.
DUH, jon.
but asking how i was going to make it more creative really challenged me.
so i prayed about it.
and i felt the Holy Spirit say, "you have some pretty great people in your life."
once a week, dedicate a post to one of them.
i didn't really understand.
i already do write about them, God.
they show up in my posts all the time.
no, dedicate an entire post to them.
where your friendship started. how it started. how God works in their life. how it inspires you. how God brought you together. what inspires you about them and their testimonies. how their faith inspires yours. write. write about how their faith has blessed you in your friendship.
brilliant, right?!
it was all the holy spirit. i had nothing to do with it.
so, here i am. writing my very post SH i N E post.
i'm excited about this journey.
i had no problem deciding who i would write about for my first post like this.
my person. my closest friend. my sister. somebody that the Lord sent to me during my first year of Highlands College. that will forever be my best friend, fighter and encourager.
fellow hustler.
kasey coldiron.
i met kasey during my first semester of highlands college.
we were together in youth track.
we spent countless hours doing promotion together for motion night. driving around. hanging posters. stacking chairs. typical future youth pastor students. (if you are one you know what i be talkin about. HOLLA to Pastor Allen for teaching us so gracefully.)
i didn't know Kasey was heaven sent to me until one day we ended up with one other student in youth track at Newk's (a fabulous hidden gem in Birmingham) for lunch after a morning of promoting for Motion Night.
we started to talk. about life. our testimonies. who we were. where we came from. before i knew it, we were sharing our dreams and visions with each other.
soon into our conversation, we realized we had come from the same place.
she had been addicted to drugs.
so had i.
she had self harmed for many years. razor was her choice.
so had i. so was mine.
her dad was an alcoholic and had left her when she was very young.
so was my mother. she left me when i was very young.
she had been hurt. betrayed. left. abandoned. suicidal. ready to end it.
and so had i.
but this wasn't what connected us.
what connected us wasn't what had happened in our past, although it was pretty amazing how similar our stories were. ( God o r d a i n e d.)
it wasn't everything that the enemy had stolen from us.
rather, it was our love and utter dependance on a redeeming Father God who had rescued us from the pit and put a calling on our life.
further into our conversation…
we learned of the fire, deep desire and complete urgency for the need to see women of all generations living in f r e e d o m:
freedom from the complete HELL that the enemy desires to keep us in every single day.
kasey is a warrior. she is a fighter. she is without a doubt one of the strongest, anointed, called young women i have ever had the ability of knowing.
and while i have learned from her in so many ways…
and admired her for all of these God given qualities and more…
there is one thing that inspires me everyday and challenges me to grow that i learn from the life that she exemplifies:
her God given confidence.
i have never. and i can honestly say never.
met anybody who has the complete confidence that kasey does.
she doesn't look to what other people think. never had i seen her question or fear what anybody had ever said about her, or if they had thought badly or negative about her.
i watched as she "did her."
quite simply.
kasey has always known where she has been, who she was, who she is now, and where she is going.
her confidence doesn't come from material things.
it doesn't come from her hairstyle, her makeup, her clothes or how many friends she has.
it comes from GOD.
quite honestly, i believe God placed her in my life for many reasons.
but to be vulnerable, i believe she is sent to be many things to me…
but particularly, a true exemplification of what it is to LET GO of what the world thinks and to live in complete God given confidence.
every single day.
we are opposites in many ways.
she's not interested in getting super dressy and wearing high heels every day.
but i am!
the only thing our wardrobe has in common is our super awesome onesies we bought from target ( r e p r e s e n t.)
and yes, it is a fox. and yes, i still wear it.
she doesn't know this, but often times i have watched her, thought about her, and looked at her…
and admitted to God that i want her kind of confidence.
she knows her identity in Christ.
and anybody else's opinion is like water off of a ducks back to her.
and not in a prideful, conceited way.
she is the definition of restoration, redeemed, secure and whole and hidden in Christ.
because of the way she has come to know and love Jesus, and the way that she ALLOWS Him to flood her with His love, she exudes confidence and faith.
and that is what makes her beautiful.
her confidence doesn't depend on fleeting, temporary, material things.
it is set upon a solid rock, the Cornerstone of her life.
j e s u s.
and because of this, it is unshakable.
it is captivating. it is something that is to be sought after by everybody who meets her.
she has taught me what true confidence in the Lord is.
it is an honor to know her. learn her. grow from her.and do life from her.
she inspires me. and one day, we will lead conferences together.
kasey, if you're reading, thank you. for being true to who you are. for trusting God and having unshakable faith. and for letting His confidence exude through you.
you are beautiful. you are my best friend. you are a treasure. thank you for being a rare example.
i. l o v e. y o u.
x o x o,
c a i t l i n
today…
today was a day. 2 years ago today…i lost my mom.
25 year battle with alcoholism.
nobody whose ever lost someone looks forward to this day.
although God encompassed me with His peace, i still had breakdowns throughout the morning today.
the truth is…i miss her.
and i think about her, often.
and i think about everything she won't be around for in my life.
i wonder if she was thinking about me when she drew her last breaths.
why i didn't tell her i loved her one more time.
did she know that i did?
yes. today was a day.
one of my mentors prayed for me around one o clock in the afternoon.
"i hope God blesses you in a major way."
i received.
many people covered myself and my family yesterday.
i don't know about them.
but i felt it.
instead of looming in what if's and being sad, i began to thank God for knowing what is best for all of us.
i realized that death isn't the final word because HEAVEN is real.
and she is there. at peace.
and while i miss her and i wish she could be here, i know she is BETTER there.
yes, my Father knows what is best and i cast it all upon Him yesterday.
because He is for me.
and he was about to show me. yet again.
how He is for me. and His plans are best.
He was about to show me.
that i can find victory in every situation.
on the worst of days, in the midst of adversity, that the ENEMY never wins.
surrounded by friends, teachers, and my sweet Jesus yesterday…
i was, for the most part, incredibly at peace.
i celebrated my mother. i remembered her beauty. all of the good memories. and how much she treasured the word of God and loved Jesus.
the enemy didn't like this. in fact he hates it. he was working to get me down, to get me out, to depress me. to STEAL my joy and take yesterday from me.
it wasn't working out so well for him.
i was supposed to start a L i F E group last night. for those of you who don't know what a L i F E group is…
it's a small group. a really serious small group. about breaking free. living in freedom every day. breaking chains, bondage, fighting spiritual warfare and living every day walking in the tree of L i F E.
BASICALLY, you dig all of the JUNK that has resonated deep down within you and you let GOD strip you of it.
f r e e d o m.
i went to dinner with a couple of friends who i treasure. they were they for me last night.
people surrounded me yesterday, they loved me, they made me laugh, and they were just THERE.
i went to look for my car keys right before i was supposed to meet to carpool to my life group.
they were gone. nowhere to be found.
FOR THE NEXT HOUR, i searched frantically for my keys everywhere at my school. outside, in my car, all around the inside.
finally, about an hour and 10 minutes later, somebody informed me where they were.
needless to say, it was a big production finding them, getting them back, and finally getting to my car.
by the time i did, i was an hour and a half late to my first L i F E group.
i am not somebody who thinks there is a devil under every rock.
but this was the enemy. stealing from me.
he obviously didn't want me to get to my life group. to develop relationships, to start this incredible process of healing.
but that's okay- because i'll be there next monday night.
so, i headed to Kohl's of all places ( i never shop there) just to roam around and look for something i had been needing.
as i shopped, i was thinking about how much the enemy targets me. he tries to delay and keep me from going places ALL OF THE TIME.
but that's okay. i'm suited for battle. i promised God i would be a warrior.
i also know that immediately after i was saved, God gave me my L i F E verse:
g e n e s i s 50:20.
"you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, for the saving of many lives."
yesterday, the Lord took a day that could have been filled with sorrow, grief and sadness, and He blessed me majorly. not only with His presence, my wonderful friends and the group of people He has placed around me…but even more…
back to Kohl's.
in the midst of the battle going on in my head…i overheard two employees in the jewelry section.
"you have to be a member at church of the highlands to be a small group member though, don't you?"
"no you don't, they have an online directory and you can just contact the leader directly."
"well i've been wanting to go back there for a long time, i just never did."
"you should go back, it's really an incredible church and the presence of God there has changed my life."
of course, in my typical "i'll talk to anybody, outgoing" fashion, i walked over and said, "i'm sorry to interrupt, but are you ladies talking about church of the highlands?"
they both said yes.
thus began an incredible conversation between the three of us. God ordained. in the jewelry section of a store that i have shopped in probably twice since i lived in Alabama.
of all places, God directed me there.
why? because He is a redeemer and fulfiller of the promise and S P E C i F i C verse He spoke over me for my life.
even funnier, Laura* began telling me a part of her testimony. she had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. she was looking for some good christian friends and was having trouble with her mother and sister who were addicted to drugs. here's the kicker:
she had signed up for a L i F E group that is starting tomorrow night and had been on the fence about going.
i smiled and said, "GO. don't let the enemy stop you. GO."
i shared my story of how i had lost my keys and been delayed to my own L i F E group.
*Anna had been to Highlands once. she said she had just never gone back and had never been on a sunday. she loved it when she went, but never had anybody to go back with. she kept asking me about small groups and told me that she lived 5 minutes away from the campus that i attend.
i smiled and said, "i live 5 minutes from that campus too. if you want, i am at every service. i will go with you."
she followed me by asking if i could send her the directory for small groups so she could check it out.
as well as sat and talked, for well over an hour…
it was almost simultaneously…
i was thinking it in my head…but laura said it first.
"it's almost like God sent you here on purpose tonight."
i smiled and said, "it's not almost like He did, He did."
we all exchanged information. we are going to get together and pursue a friendship. they are pursuing the Lord in different ways. and both told me that i blessed them in a major way.
i walked out of there on FIRE.
it's not like God almost kind of sort of sent me there.
He did. why? because He redeemed what the enemy had taken away.
those girls told me that i was a blessing to them.
heaven sent.
but they were the ones who BLESSED ME!
God fulfilled the very prayer spoken over me that afternoon.
"i pray God blesses you in a major way."
on a day that the enemy did everything He could to steal from me…
GOD PREVAILED. HE REDEEMED EVERY SITUATION.VICTORY WAS FOUND. AND HE GETS ALL OF THE GLORY.
...next time you are thinking how badly the enemy fights to attack you…
remember that a T H i E F only comes to steal from a L O A D E D vault.
G o d has major plans for you. and the enemy wants to thwart them.
suit up. get ready for battle. arm yourself with God and get ready to fight.
to the faithful, God shows Himself faithful.
the devil has NO place in my life and isn't going to steal from me anymore.
he can try.
but he won't succeed.
BECAUSE MY VICTORY WAS WON ON THE CROSS.
2 0 1 4 is the year that i'm S U i T i N G up for battle.
i'm not gonna stop until i see His glory revealed and find victory in every situation.
my whole life.
the enemy intended to harm me.
but is using it. all for good.
for the saving of many lives.
AMEN TO THAT.
join me. and let's make 2014 the year we grow closer to God than ever… so much that the devil has to BACK off because every area of our life is S A T U R A T E D in the presence, power and victory of JESUS CHRIST.
until next time.
x o x o,
C A i T L i N
