s h i n e
i've started doing 30 days of hustle by jon acuff.
basically, you set a goal and work every day to achieve it for 30 days.
mine was to write every day. he asks you basic questions like how, what when, why, how to make it fun and creative, and so on…
for me, when he asked how i was going to make it fun, i struggled.
writing is already fun.
DUH, jon.
but asking how i was going to make it more creative really challenged me.
so i prayed about it.
and i felt the Holy Spirit say, "you have some pretty great people in your life."
once a week, dedicate a post to one of them.
i didn't really understand.
i already do write about them, God.
they show up in my posts all the time.
no, dedicate an entire post to them.
where your friendship started. how it started. how God works in their life. how it inspires you. how God brought you together. what inspires you about them and their testimonies. how their faith inspires yours. write. write about how their faith has blessed you in your friendship.
brilliant, right?!
it was all the holy spirit. i had nothing to do with it.
so, here i am. writing my very post SH i N E post.
i'm excited about this journey.
i had no problem deciding who i would write about for my first post like this.
my person. my closest friend. my sister. somebody that the Lord sent to me during my first year of Highlands College. that will forever be my best friend, fighter and encourager.
fellow hustler.
kasey coldiron.
i met kasey during my first semester of highlands college.
we were together in youth track.
we spent countless hours doing promotion together for motion night. driving around. hanging posters. stacking chairs. typical future youth pastor students. (if you are one you know what i be talkin about. HOLLA to Pastor Allen for teaching us so gracefully.)
i didn't know Kasey was heaven sent to me until one day we ended up with one other student in youth track at Newk's (a fabulous hidden gem in Birmingham) for lunch after a morning of promoting for Motion Night.
we started to talk. about life. our testimonies. who we were. where we came from. before i knew it, we were sharing our dreams and visions with each other.
soon into our conversation, we realized we had come from the same place.
she had been addicted to drugs.
so had i.
she had self harmed for many years. razor was her choice.
so had i. so was mine.
her dad was an alcoholic and had left her when she was very young.
so was my mother. she left me when i was very young.
she had been hurt. betrayed. left. abandoned. suicidal. ready to end it.
and so had i.
but this wasn't what connected us.
what connected us wasn't what had happened in our past, although it was pretty amazing how similar our stories were. ( God o r d a i n e d.)
it wasn't everything that the enemy had stolen from us.
rather, it was our love and utter dependance on a redeeming Father God who had rescued us from the pit and put a calling on our life.
further into our conversation…
we learned of the fire, deep desire and complete urgency for the need to see women of all generations living in f r e e d o m:
freedom from the complete HELL that the enemy desires to keep us in every single day.
kasey is a warrior. she is a fighter. she is without a doubt one of the strongest, anointed, called young women i have ever had the ability of knowing.
and while i have learned from her in so many ways…
and admired her for all of these God given qualities and more…
there is one thing that inspires me everyday and challenges me to grow that i learn from the life that she exemplifies:
her God given confidence.
i have never. and i can honestly say never.
met anybody who has the complete confidence that kasey does.
she doesn't look to what other people think. never had i seen her question or fear what anybody had ever said about her, or if they had thought badly or negative about her.
i watched as she "did her."
quite simply.
kasey has always known where she has been, who she was, who she is now, and where she is going.
her confidence doesn't come from material things.
it doesn't come from her hairstyle, her makeup, her clothes or how many friends she has.
it comes from GOD.
quite honestly, i believe God placed her in my life for many reasons.
but to be vulnerable, i believe she is sent to be many things to me…
but particularly, a true exemplification of what it is to LET GO of what the world thinks and to live in complete God given confidence.
every single day.
we are opposites in many ways.
she's not interested in getting super dressy and wearing high heels every day.
but i am!
the only thing our wardrobe has in common is our super awesome onesies we bought from target ( r e p r e s e n t.)
and yes, it is a fox. and yes, i still wear it.
she doesn't know this, but often times i have watched her, thought about her, and looked at her…
and admitted to God that i want her kind of confidence.
she knows her identity in Christ.
and anybody else's opinion is like water off of a ducks back to her.
and not in a prideful, conceited way.
she is the definition of restoration, redeemed, secure and whole and hidden in Christ.
because of the way she has come to know and love Jesus, and the way that she ALLOWS Him to flood her with His love, she exudes confidence and faith.
and that is what makes her beautiful.
her confidence doesn't depend on fleeting, temporary, material things.
it is set upon a solid rock, the Cornerstone of her life.
j e s u s.
and because of this, it is unshakable.
it is captivating. it is something that is to be sought after by everybody who meets her.
she has taught me what true confidence in the Lord is.
it is an honor to know her. learn her. grow from her.and do life from her.
she inspires me. and one day, we will lead conferences together.
kasey, if you're reading, thank you. for being true to who you are. for trusting God and having unshakable faith. and for letting His confidence exude through you.
you are beautiful. you are my best friend. you are a treasure. thank you for being a rare example.
i. l o v e. y o u.
x o x o,
c a i t l i n
today…
today was a day. 2 years ago today…i lost my mom.
25 year battle with alcoholism.
nobody whose ever lost someone looks forward to this day.
although God encompassed me with His peace, i still had breakdowns throughout the morning today.
the truth is…i miss her.
and i think about her, often.
and i think about everything she won't be around for in my life.
i wonder if she was thinking about me when she drew her last breaths.
why i didn't tell her i loved her one more time.
did she know that i did?
yes. today was a day.
one of my mentors prayed for me around one o clock in the afternoon.
"i hope God blesses you in a major way."
i received.
many people covered myself and my family yesterday.
i don't know about them.
but i felt it.
instead of looming in what if's and being sad, i began to thank God for knowing what is best for all of us.
i realized that death isn't the final word because HEAVEN is real.
and she is there. at peace.
and while i miss her and i wish she could be here, i know she is BETTER there.
yes, my Father knows what is best and i cast it all upon Him yesterday.
because He is for me.
and he was about to show me. yet again.
how He is for me. and His plans are best.
He was about to show me.
that i can find victory in every situation.
on the worst of days, in the midst of adversity, that the ENEMY never wins.
surrounded by friends, teachers, and my sweet Jesus yesterday…
i was, for the most part, incredibly at peace.
i celebrated my mother. i remembered her beauty. all of the good memories. and how much she treasured the word of God and loved Jesus.
the enemy didn't like this. in fact he hates it. he was working to get me down, to get me out, to depress me. to STEAL my joy and take yesterday from me.
it wasn't working out so well for him.
i was supposed to start a L i F E group last night. for those of you who don't know what a L i F E group is…
it's a small group. a really serious small group. about breaking free. living in freedom every day. breaking chains, bondage, fighting spiritual warfare and living every day walking in the tree of L i F E.
BASICALLY, you dig all of the JUNK that has resonated deep down within you and you let GOD strip you of it.
f r e e d o m.
i went to dinner with a couple of friends who i treasure. they were they for me last night.
people surrounded me yesterday, they loved me, they made me laugh, and they were just THERE.
i went to look for my car keys right before i was supposed to meet to carpool to my life group.
they were gone. nowhere to be found.
FOR THE NEXT HOUR, i searched frantically for my keys everywhere at my school. outside, in my car, all around the inside.
finally, about an hour and 10 minutes later, somebody informed me where they were.
needless to say, it was a big production finding them, getting them back, and finally getting to my car.
by the time i did, i was an hour and a half late to my first L i F E group.
i am not somebody who thinks there is a devil under every rock.
but this was the enemy. stealing from me.
he obviously didn't want me to get to my life group. to develop relationships, to start this incredible process of healing.
but that's okay- because i'll be there next monday night.
so, i headed to Kohl's of all places ( i never shop there) just to roam around and look for something i had been needing.
as i shopped, i was thinking about how much the enemy targets me. he tries to delay and keep me from going places ALL OF THE TIME.
but that's okay. i'm suited for battle. i promised God i would be a warrior.
i also know that immediately after i was saved, God gave me my L i F E verse:
g e n e s i s 50:20.
"you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, for the saving of many lives."
yesterday, the Lord took a day that could have been filled with sorrow, grief and sadness, and He blessed me majorly. not only with His presence, my wonderful friends and the group of people He has placed around me…but even more…
back to Kohl's.
in the midst of the battle going on in my head…i overheard two employees in the jewelry section.
"you have to be a member at church of the highlands to be a small group member though, don't you?"
"no you don't, they have an online directory and you can just contact the leader directly."
"well i've been wanting to go back there for a long time, i just never did."
"you should go back, it's really an incredible church and the presence of God there has changed my life."
of course, in my typical "i'll talk to anybody, outgoing" fashion, i walked over and said, "i'm sorry to interrupt, but are you ladies talking about church of the highlands?"
they both said yes.
thus began an incredible conversation between the three of us. God ordained. in the jewelry section of a store that i have shopped in probably twice since i lived in Alabama.
of all places, God directed me there.
why? because He is a redeemer and fulfiller of the promise and S P E C i F i C verse He spoke over me for my life.
even funnier, Laura* began telling me a part of her testimony. she had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. she was looking for some good christian friends and was having trouble with her mother and sister who were addicted to drugs. here's the kicker:
she had signed up for a L i F E group that is starting tomorrow night and had been on the fence about going.
i smiled and said, "GO. don't let the enemy stop you. GO."
i shared my story of how i had lost my keys and been delayed to my own L i F E group.
*Anna had been to Highlands once. she said she had just never gone back and had never been on a sunday. she loved it when she went, but never had anybody to go back with. she kept asking me about small groups and told me that she lived 5 minutes away from the campus that i attend.
i smiled and said, "i live 5 minutes from that campus too. if you want, i am at every service. i will go with you."
she followed me by asking if i could send her the directory for small groups so she could check it out.
as well as sat and talked, for well over an hour…
it was almost simultaneously…
i was thinking it in my head…but laura said it first.
"it's almost like God sent you here on purpose tonight."
i smiled and said, "it's not almost like He did, He did."
we all exchanged information. we are going to get together and pursue a friendship. they are pursuing the Lord in different ways. and both told me that i blessed them in a major way.
i walked out of there on FIRE.
it's not like God almost kind of sort of sent me there.
He did. why? because He redeemed what the enemy had taken away.
those girls told me that i was a blessing to them.
heaven sent.
but they were the ones who BLESSED ME!
God fulfilled the very prayer spoken over me that afternoon.
"i pray God blesses you in a major way."
on a day that the enemy did everything He could to steal from me…
GOD PREVAILED. HE REDEEMED EVERY SITUATION.VICTORY WAS FOUND. AND HE GETS ALL OF THE GLORY.
...next time you are thinking how badly the enemy fights to attack you…
remember that a T H i E F only comes to steal from a L O A D E D vault.
G o d has major plans for you. and the enemy wants to thwart them.
suit up. get ready for battle. arm yourself with God and get ready to fight.
to the faithful, God shows Himself faithful.
the devil has NO place in my life and isn't going to steal from me anymore.
he can try.
but he won't succeed.
BECAUSE MY VICTORY WAS WON ON THE CROSS.
2 0 1 4 is the year that i'm S U i T i N G up for battle.
i'm not gonna stop until i see His glory revealed and find victory in every situation.
my whole life.
the enemy intended to harm me.
but is using it. all for good.
for the saving of many lives.
AMEN TO THAT.
join me. and let's make 2014 the year we grow closer to God than ever… so much that the devil has to BACK off because every area of our life is S A T U R A T E D in the presence, power and victory of JESUS CHRIST.
until next time.
x o x o,
C A i T L i N
so, a lot of people might not know that it snowed in Alabama just a couple of days ago.
sense my sarcasm.
everybody knows that.
however, what people may not know is how badly it affected this state.
furthermore, i'm sure they're are many people questioning God in all of this.
and just as many leaving Him completely out.
people don't really care about what you or i think about the snow.
but opinions are like armpits: everybody has them.
and most of them stink.
i'm not here to give you my opinion.
i am simply here to tell you a story of what happened in my life the past few days.
and the revelation i have had about Jesus through them.
getting stranded and stuck on 280 didn't really affect my mood that much.
actually, i laughed at the fact that i was stuck in the middle of thousands of cars with nowhere to escape.
i know. really? i laughed?
but i did. because i could have gone home.
instead, after my 8 o clock A.M. meeting with one of my pastors, i decided to do errands. and before i knew it, i was browsing around Nordstrom Rack- until i noticed i was the only person in there.
for those of you who know me, this should be no shock at all. i would be shopping in the middle of a snowstorm that shuts the entire state down. it's so "ME" of me.
fast forward to 8 hours later.
after attempting to drive on several back roads (God bless my honda civic) snow, ice and nightfall looming upon me, abandoned cars everywhere, i turned around and ended up at a shopping center not far from where i was.
i had heard several people say that all the hotels in the area were booked, to which my mind flashed back to several hours earlier, when i laughed at the thought of actually reserving a room when i was 10 miles from my house. (there's a FIRST time for everything!)
i walked over to the Hampton Inn, the hotel across the street to hang out somewhere warm. i figured i may as well be with other people- after all, we're all experiencing the same thing.
looking back on it…how true is this…
there is something cathartic about the presence of people.
so i sat down by a few ladies who were near the door. they were drinking coffee.
we all began to share our experiences. i then decided to put my name on a waiting list for a room- but wasn't too concerned if i didn't get one. i would sleep in the lobby if i had to.
the first thing jesus taught me in this situation:
I carry His presence with me everywhere i go.
i made a decision, in the midst of adversity, distress, and plenty of negativity: to be positive.
i know. it sounds so cliche. oh, you were positive in an annoying, distressful situation?
Congrats!
(insert fake applause here.)
suddenly i realized: i'm in a room full of scared, helpless, defenseless people.
i have an opportunity here! to be JESUS to them.
compassionate. kind. caring. generous. joy.
while i don't deserve ANY kind of praise for simply doing what i am to do as a follower of Christ: to M O D E L him…
it did wake me up to just how much influence we have and we carry everywhere we go as believers.
why?
because we carry HIS presence with us. and if we are willing to let it, it lights up any place.
how simple it is to model Christ.
but too often we forget.
a smile, an offer, a laugh, a hug, a kind word of encouragement or thanks…
it goes a LONG way. these things shine so much light into darkness.
fast forward to the miracle of actually, with 30 people ahead of me on a list: getting a room at the Hampton Inn.
as everybody i had spent the afternoon with congratulated me on the luck of getting a room, a thought flowed through me…
what would jesus do in this situation?
well He would invite them. invite strangers to sleep in a hotel room with you? would jesus really do that?
well, i'm glad you asked. yes, yes he would.
here, God gave me another opportunity to model Christ.
i turned to Mary and Laura, the ladies i had spent most of my time in the lobby with, chatting over coffee and cookies- and offered them to stay in my room with me.
willingly, they both thanked me and said yes, but only if we can split the room.
as they packed their things up to go up to the room, i stayed at the desk and paid for the room.
when we got upstairs, yet again they offered to pay me for the room.
let me say again that this is in no way a way to promote my good doing. but rather to expose…
how so often, i am blind to being Jesus everywhere i go, in the simplest ways and sometimes the most distressing of times.
you see, i don't want to live a tamed, non dangerous life.
if i carry the most powerful King's presence inside of ME…i'm gonna use it.
let it shine.
and see the incredible beauty of how shocking it is to people.
in the aftermath, discussing our own stories…
more than 5 people reacted with this:
you shared a hotel room with strangers?
seriously?
that's sketchy.
my response?
a smile.
to the world…that's sketchy.
to me, it's showing Jesus to them.
i don't want normal. i don't want complacency. i don't want to simply exist in this world…
i want to shake it with the POWER and the PRESENCE OF CHRIST, MY KING.
some people may say… that's impossible.
some may say it doesn't affect anything.
people can say anything they want. and they WILL.
to King Jesus, that's normal.
but nothing stopped Him.
everywhere He went.
Love. Joy. Peace. Graciousness. Kindness.
to strangers. to people he didn't know. to the defenseless and the scared.
he never stopped.
and neither will i.
i came out of the "snowmageddon" with opened realization to the power of …
HIS PRESENCE!
i took this picture when the snow first started falling.
as i look at it now, it really brings tears to my eyes.
our feet. our bodies. our mouth. our hearts.
Jesus lives inside of us all.
And we have a choice.
To let it show everywhere we go.
Or keep it locked inside.
"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him."
1 j o h n 4:16.
next time you doubt yourself…next time the enemy tries to keep you from sharing the love and presence of Jesus with other people lingering in the darkness…
remember the promise and truth of this verse.
A B i D E- to remain, to stay, to continue.
He never leaves us.
With us always.
Let it shine.
Let it out.
AND ROCK THE WORLD WITH CHRIST'S GLORIOUS PRESENCE.
you are the hope.
"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news…"
X O X O,
C A i T L i N
as the year 2013 came to a close…
i found myself reflecting on the year.
HIGHS.
lows.
plenty of laughter.
plenty of tears.
new friends.
saying goodbye to other friends.
l e s s o n s.
m i s t a k e s.
p a i n.
g r o w t h.
i think if we all reflect on the past year, we could genuinely say we had a little bit of all of these at some point or another.
reflecting led me to think of all the things i've learned.
after praying, (and scrolling down my year review on Facebook- thank you Facebook- you actually helped!) i was left with 1 4 crucial things i am so glad i learned this year.
let me also preface: these are not profound. and some may be relearned over and over and over again. but i am thankful for growth. i am thankful for lessons learned through pain. i am so thankful that God never stops teaching me. some are funny, some are too real, but they are all true lessons learned.
14. laughter really is the best medicine.
i don't know about you, but i like to laugh. a lot. i am convinced that a good long laugh session with a close friend does the heart VERY good. the bible EVEN TELLS us to laugh. there are times and places. it shouldn't become something that takes the place of everything else in your life. but man, those cramps in your stomach that you get after laughing so hard you feel like you're never going to eat again (YEAH, RIGHT!) - is there really anything better? I am also convinced that laughing at the expense of others does the exact opposite. it may bring momentary joy, but in the end all you're doing is demeaning somebody else. nobody wants to be the person that is known for cutting other people down to make themselves look good. believe me. i learned this the hard way. foot in mouth. burnt a relationship from this. and am trusting God to put it back together. but- pure and genuine laughter is the best. it does a heart good. remember to l a u g h.
13. don't take yourself TOO seriously.
you may think i'm going in a different direction here. this year i learned that life is not about me. the world doesn't revolve around me- SHOCKING, i know! but boy- i learned this the hard way. not only did i learn that life isn't about me- i learned MY life isn't about me. i learned that when i am taking myself too seriously, my eyes are focused somewhere they are not supposed to be-on myself. all that matters is Jesus and when we are focused so seriously on ANYTHING else but Him- we become selfish. the fact of the matter is- we are to take God seriously and allow Him to work out the rest in our lives with full trust. By myself-I am not important. Neither are you. But Christ alive in you is the most important thing on the planet. So please, don't take yourself too seriously.
12. nobody is cute when they cry.
hey it's just the truth. i make what i like to call "the ugly face" and i don't even notice it because i'm too consumed with what i'm crying over anyway! trust me. one time i caught a glance of myself crying in the mirror and it was not good. but you know what else i learned? crying is freeing. it's a release. and it's cleansing. and so let yourself have an ugly cry every once in a while. because honestly, there's really NOTHING like it.
11. cheap high heels aren't worth it.
i know this is probably going to surprise many of you, but i'm a major shoe girl. like, it's a big problem. huge. anyone whose been to my house knows this. and ONE time this past year, (notice i said ONE), i made the mistake of buying a cheaply made pair of really cute shoes because i just couldn't live without them. BIG MISTAKE. you are going to put your precious feet in them and walk on them all day. the burning, the cramping, the absolute pain that they will bring you…it's not worth it. i think when God said He would walk with us through fire he forgot the next sentence…the fire you will feel on your feet if you ever choose to buy cheap heels, ladies. JUST DON'T DO IT.
10.it's okay to be weird.
God made you the way you are. the exact way you are.the good, the bad, and everything in between. let me clarify: i'm not suggesting that you hide completely behind your weirdness, but i am also suggesting that you not hide it all from people. i can tell you that i learned in 2013 that i am weird. i'm quirky, i'm loud, i'm ridiculous, kind of nerdy, and i laugh at everything i do. i have things i do and say, rituals i have, and traditions that i do only with myself. and they are things other people don't do. and some people think they're weird. i don't get embarrassed by that, i embrace it. in 2013 i freely let go of caring if people thought i was weird or not. because all of those quirks? the things that make me different from everybody else? that's unique. it's awesome. it's me. Holy Spirit breathed by God to nobody else. and you're the same. so embrace it. because let's face it, we're all a little weird.
9.death isn't the FINAL word.
i lost my mother, February 3rd 2014 will be 2 years. i grieved and i grieved hard in 2013. i lost sight of a lot and stayed angry for a while. i couldn't get past her death. and, coming up on her being away from Earth for almost 2 years now, i still wouldn't say i'm past it. i have learned, however, that death is NOT the final word. Heaven really is our home. And she is at home. it doesn't make it easier, it doesn't make it hurt less, it doesn't change the reality that she is not here. but it does change your perspective. and here's what i learned first: Heaven is our home. OUR HOME. We get to spend eternity with a GOD and a SAVIOR who gave everything to know us, to love us, to free us, to give us peace. This is momentary. Here on Earth. That is my permanent place of residence. Some would say that is an INCREDIBLE promise. Safe in the arms of our Savior. The presence of God. No pain. Lastly: life is short. a vapor. And because God has promised me a beautiful life of eternity, I want to LIVE here and do everything I possibly can to bring glory to God and to make His name known. His love known. Because DEATH didn't stop Jesus. And it shouldn't stop us either. It is not the final word. Life abundant and life eternal. That is the final word.
8.Writing is hard.
i love writing. i love to blog. i am thankful God has somewhat gifted me to do it. but it is really hard to do sometimes. not because it is time consuming, not even because i have a lack of what i want to say, ( i know you are all shocked at that!) i say it's hard because it is, perhaps, one of the most vulnerable things you could do. to sit and bleed your thoughts, no holding back to the world. i struggled in 2013. i struggled being honest and vulnerable. it's not my strong suit. it's easy to hide behind your words and not be 100% honest. it's harder to write the truth. it's much harder to be real. transparent. and raw. but i learned in 2013 that while it's hard, it's worth it. you never know who will read what you write. you never know how much people appreciate you being real until you ask God for the courage to do it. keep writing, fellow writers. you are world changers.
7.friendships take WORK.
if i ever learned a lesson in 2013, it was this one. friendships take lots of love, lots of laughter, patience, honesty and understanding. to sum up, friendship takes a lot of work. and i learned that it is not a one way street. it takes two to tango. you give and you take. this is a hard lesson to learn. why? because we are naturally selfish. we want it to be all about ourselves. the more you grow up, the more you realize it's not about you and it's about you and your friends together. i gave up some friends in 2013. i had some friends give me up. it stings. it can be painful. but you know what? it's okay to walk away if people don't want to invest in you. you deserve friends that are going to love you, encourage you, trust you, call you out where you need to be called out…BUT above all, fight for you. and if somebody isn't willing to do that for you, it's okay to walk away. because you are WORTH those things. and more. you know what else i learned? God has designed friends specifically for you. friends for life. and i found those friends in 2013. and they are dear to my heart. and i will work to stay continually invested in them. because God has given them to me. and they are precious gifts.
6.tattoos are awesome.
in 2013 i rediscovered my love for tattoos. i got two tattoos that actually had meaning to me…deep meaning. and it was incredible. i let go of my worry of what people would think and did it because they meant something dear to my heart. i had my mothers words from the first page of one her bibles, "i am somebody" tattooed on my foot. i also had my favorite verse of the bible tattooed on my arm. {psalm 18:19}. i look at them every day and see love, true meaning and the memory of my mother expressed. it's art. it's cool. and it's not for everybody, but it is for some. they tell a story. and i get asked about them over and over. daily, i get to express my faith through them. and i think that's incredible.i got over the stereotype that Christians don't have tattoos. because it's just not true. i let go of fear and embraced them. and in 2014, i'm gonna get more.
5. fear of commitment will cripple you.
i spent the year of 2013 fearing commitment. not just commitment in a relationship, but commitment everywhere. to God, to friends, in a relationship, and to people who are like my second family. in 2013 i learned that fear of commitment will lead you into a place of darkness and abandonment that you never thought you would be. i also learned that it takes a lot of trust in God and release of control to begin a healing process and a way out of that deep fear. i'm still working on it. i'm not there yet. but i learned that it will keep you out of things you would never imagine, it will leave you painfully broken and alone, and will delay blessings. the greatest lesson i've learned from this is that you will never commit to anybody 100% if you aren't first committed to God fully. i made no resolutions for 2014 except one commitment: to be as fully committed and more in love with God every single day. i challenge you to do the same. Say goodbye to fear. And hello to freedom. BRING IT!
4. beauty is fleeting.
i know, i know. we hear it all the time. beauty is fleeting. in 2013 i learned this HEAD on. if anybody likes to look good, it's this girl. hair, makeup, clothes, i'm guilty. take a city girl and move her to the country and she just brings the city with her. but i learned this year that your heart and who you are on the inside speaks volumes to people about how beautiful you are. i felt, on more than several occasions in the past year, like the ugliest person in the world and not because of how i looked on the outside, but because of who i was inside. i refused to believe that being beautiful is your heart. and i learned that the uglier you are on the inside, the more people see you as ugly on the outside. we are all beautiful. when we love God with a pure heart, and seek to live in His ways, His light and beauty reflects all over us. THIS quality is what you want somebody to fall in love with FIRST. and if this isn't the quality they love most about you, they do not deserve you. it's okay to be pretty. it's okay to look cute. it's okay to love style. ( i DO!) but the most important is to be beautiful from the inside out. a woman who prays fervently and reverently is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. a woman who fears the Lord is beautiful. a woman who doesn't speak gossip but loves and encourages others is beautiful. in 2013 i finally LEARNED and admitted that confidence doesn't come from make up, high heels, or the best clothes, it comes from GOD. amen to that.
3. coffee addiction is a real thing. and i'm okay with it.
I learned in 2013 that my love for coffee grew leaps and bounds, and i came to the conclusion it will always be one of my absolute favorite things. i fell into a deep love with my new French Press, and, point blank, it just makes me happy in the mornings. not happier than waking up to new mercies, not happier than God's love, not happier to having breath, but yeah…it makes me pretty happy. i don't know if you wake up like sleeping beauty, with birds lifting your comforter off of you and singing all around you, but i don't. i look more like the loch ness monster when i wake up. i'm on the struggle bus. and in 2013 i learned that it's okay for me to need some coffee in the morning before i do anything else. coffee is WONDERFUL. and i love it.
2. forgiveness sets you free.
in 2013, i released those who have transgressed against me in major ways. it was messy. it was ugly. it was painful. but since that day, i haven't looked back. it isn't easy. but when you've been forgiven much, (and we ALL have), you forgive much. it doesn't do anything for the other person. they may never know you did it. but you release them. and when you do, you will start looking at them in a different way. it may never do anything for them. but it sets you free. and everybody deserves to experience the freedom of letting somebody go and forgiving them for what they've done to you. there's power in it. if you're reading this and you need to forgive somebody, i mean, REALLY forgive somebody, i pray that you find the courage and strength from God to do it. your life will change. it will change drastically forever. and you won't ever look back.
and the number one thing i learned this YEAR:
1. How unfathomable God's love is. How true His promises are. How close He actually is to the brokenhearted. And How many miracles He has done in my life and the lives of those around me.
ok, that's like 5 things. but i don't care. this may sound cliche. but MAN. it's safe to say i learned a lot this year. so much more than 14 things or any list i could possibly put together. but i can truly, honestly say, the number one thing i learned this year is how incredible MY GOD, the GOD of the universe is. 2013 was so taxing. it was a hard year. in some ways, the hardest year of my life so far. In the past year, I heard God speak promises to me that came to fruition. I felt His presence sweep over me in moments of absolute despair and utter heartbreak. I watched Him at work in my life doing absolute miracles at the last minute, leaving me with no explanation except that the Father I love and the sweet Jesus that has saved me are miracle workers. i learned the meaning of grace this year. i have felt unimaginable forgiveness and mercy from God and have given those same things to people that i never thought i had the strength to. i have felt the Holy Spirit alive and at work in me and in the lives of others. i have watched my Father continually bless me and give me favor in times where i have been so incredibly undeserving of it. He has given, He has taken. He has taught me, led me, spoken to me, and NEVER left me. I have seen Him this year. I have felt Him this year. i have experienced some incredible pain. a very rocky road this year. but through it all, His presence has never left my side. the greatest lesson i've learned in 2013: i am unable to do ANYTHING without him. forgive, learn, grow, love…here's to 2014. and every year to come with my God by my side.
H A P P Y N E W Y E A R!
*h e
crowns
the
year
with
goodness *
p s a l m 65:11
x o x o,
caitlin
