{ g e n e s i s 50:20 }

today…

today was a day. 2 years ago today…i lost my mom.

25 year battle with alcoholism. 

nobody whose ever lost someone looks forward to this day. 

although God encompassed me with His peace, i still had breakdowns throughout the morning today. 

the truth is…i miss her.

and i think about her, often.

and i think about everything she won't be around for in my life. 

i wonder if she was thinking about me when she drew her last breaths. 

why i didn't tell her i loved her one more time.

did she know that i did?

yes. today was a day.

one of my mentors prayed for me around one o clock in the afternoon.

"i hope God blesses you in a major way." 

i received. 

many people covered myself and my family yesterday.

i don't know about them. 

but i felt it.

instead of looming in what if's and being sad, i began to thank God for knowing what is best for all of us.

i realized that death isn't the final word because HEAVEN is real.

and she is there. at peace. 

and while i miss her and i wish she could be here, i know she is BETTER there.

yes, my Father knows what is best and i cast it all upon Him yesterday.

because He is for me. 

and he was about to show me. yet again.

how He is for me. and His plans are best.

He was about to show me. 

that i can find victory in every situation. 

on the worst of days, in the midst of adversity, that the ENEMY never wins.

surrounded by friends, teachers, and my sweet Jesus yesterday…

i was, for the most part, incredibly at peace. 

i celebrated my mother. i remembered her beauty. all of the good memories. and how much she treasured the word of God and loved Jesus.

the enemy didn't like this. in fact he hates it. he was working to get me down, to get me out, to depress me. to STEAL my joy and take yesterday from me. 

it wasn't working out so well for him. 

i was supposed to start a L i F E group last night. for those of you who don't know what a L i F E group is…

it's a small group. a really serious small group. about breaking free. living in freedom every day. breaking chains, bondage, fighting spiritual warfare and living every day walking in the tree of L i F E. 

BASICALLY, you dig all of the JUNK that has resonated deep down within you and you let GOD strip you of it. 

f r e e d o m.

i went to dinner with a couple of friends who i treasure. they were they for me last night. 

people surrounded me yesterday, they loved me, they made me laugh, and they were just THERE. 

i went to look for my car keys right before i was supposed to meet to carpool to my life group.

they were gone. nowhere to be found.

FOR THE NEXT HOUR, i searched frantically for my keys everywhere at my school. outside, in my car, all around the inside. 

finally, about an hour and 10 minutes later, somebody informed me where they were. 

needless to say, it was a big production finding them, getting them back, and finally getting to my car.

by the time i did, i was an hour and a half late to my first L i F E group.

i am not somebody who thinks there is a devil under every rock.

but this was the enemy. stealing from me. 


he obviously didn't want me to get to my life group. to develop relationships, to start this incredible process of healing.


but that's okay- because i'll be there next monday night. 

so, i headed to Kohl's of all places ( i never shop there) just to roam around and look for something i had been needing.

as i shopped, i was thinking about how much the enemy targets me. he tries to delay and keep me from going places ALL OF THE TIME.

but that's okay. i'm suited for battle. i promised God i would be a warrior.

i also know that immediately after i was saved, God gave me my L i F E verse:

g e n e s i s 50:20.

"you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, for the saving of many lives."

yesterday, the Lord took a day that could have been filled with sorrow, grief and sadness, and He blessed me majorly. not only with His presence, my wonderful friends and the group of people He has placed around me…but even more…

back to Kohl's.

in the midst of the battle going on in my head…i overheard two employees in the jewelry section.

"you have to be a member at church of the highlands to be a small group member though, don't you?"

"no you don't, they have an online directory and you can just contact the leader directly."

"well i've been wanting to go back there for a long time, i just never did."

"you should go back, it's really an incredible church and the presence of God there has changed my life."

of course, in my typical "i'll talk to anybody, outgoing" fashion, i walked over and said, "i'm sorry to interrupt, but are you ladies talking about church of the highlands?"

they both said yes.

thus began an incredible conversation between the three of us. God ordained. in the jewelry section of a store that i have shopped in probably twice since i lived in Alabama.

of all places, God directed me there.

why? because He is a redeemer and fulfiller of the promise and S P E C i F i C verse He spoke over me for my life. 

even funnier, Laura* began telling me a part of her testimony. she had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. she was looking for some good christian friends and was having trouble with her mother and sister who were addicted to drugs. here's the kicker:

she had signed up for a L i F E group that is starting tomorrow night and had been on the fence about going. 

i smiled and said, "GO. don't let the enemy stop you. GO."

i shared my story of how i had lost my keys and been delayed to my own L i F E group.

*Anna had been to Highlands once. she said she had just never gone back and had never been on a sunday. she loved it when she went, but never had anybody to go back with. she kept asking me about small groups and told me that she lived 5 minutes away from the campus that i attend. 

i smiled and said, "i live 5 minutes from that campus too. if you want, i am at every service. i will go with you."

she followed me by asking if i could send her the directory for small groups so she could check it out.

as well as sat and talked, for well over an hour…

it was almost simultaneously…

i was thinking it in my head…but laura said it first.

"it's almost like God sent you here on purpose tonight."

i smiled and said, "it's not almost like He did, He did." 

we all exchanged information. we are going to get together and pursue a friendship. they are pursuing the Lord in different ways. and both told me that i blessed them in a major way. 

i walked out of there on FIRE.

it's not like God almost kind of sort of sent me there.

He did. why? because He redeemed what the enemy had taken away.

those girls told me that i was a blessing to them. 

heaven sent.

but they were the ones who BLESSED ME!

God fulfilled the very prayer spoken over me that afternoon. 

"i pray God blesses you in a major way."

on a day that the enemy did everything He could to steal from me…

GOD PREVAILED. HE REDEEMED EVERY SITUATION.VICTORY WAS FOUND. AND HE GETS ALL OF THE GLORY.

...next time you are thinking how badly the enemy fights to attack you…

remember that a T H i E F only comes to steal from a L O A D E D vault. 

G o d has major plans for you. and the enemy wants to thwart them.

suit up. get ready for battle. arm yourself with God and get ready to fight.

to the faithful, God shows Himself faithful.

the devil has NO place in my life and isn't going to steal from me anymore.

he can try.

but he won't succeed.

BECAUSE MY VICTORY WAS WON ON THE CROSS.

2 0 1 4 is the year that i'm S U i T i N G up for battle. 

i'm not gonna stop until i see His glory revealed and find victory in every situation.

my whole life.

the enemy intended to harm me.

but is using it. all for good. 

for the saving of many lives. 

AMEN TO THAT.

join me. and let's make 2014 the year we grow closer to God than ever… so much that the devil has to BACK off because every area of our life is S A T U R A T E D in the presence, power and victory of JESUS CHRIST.

until next time.

x o x o,

C A i T L i N