the greatest tribute the enemy could possibly ever acquire is keeping such a stronghold on one person that they never break free of bondage.
many people have NO idea. but the devil is a worker of the PAST. he has no control over our future-the future God has for us- unless we LET him gain access to it.
this post goes hand in hand with the message pastor chris spoke this morning at Highlands.
philippians 3:13-14 "brothers, i do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
for the longest time, mostly all of my life, the enemy convinced me, and I convinced myself that there was absolutely NO way I could move past- well, my past.
the dictionary defines the word past as "having existed in, or having occurred during a time previous to the present."
that means...no longer existing. combine this definition with what God TELLS us happens when we confess Jesus as our Lord, and give our hearts to him:
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (NIV)
the OLD HAS GONE.
the new...is here.
you see, I gave Jesus my heart two years ago. I so desperately wanted to let go of all of my pain, my burdens, my past. I couldn't bear the thought of living with or carrying the burdens for one minute longer. god says to CAST our burdens on Him because he cares for us.
but for most of us, this isn't how it happens.
we become entangled in a fight with the enemy that drains us so intently, we can hardly resist the temptation to GIVE UP.
in my own life, i have come to realize the warnings the Bible gives me about tribulation in my life are indeed TRUE. i can expect that if I am fighting for the Lord, i carry an everlasting fight with the enemy as well.
but nobody said anything about the greatest weapon the enemy uses: our PAST.
before Christ, my life was a mess. I was living a sinful, selfish, ugly life. i experienced heart shattering pain, as so many of us do in life. when God rescued me that night, i felt Him whisper that he wanted to set me free from that bondage. no more doubt. no more insecurity. no more punishing myself for mistakes, moments of weakness, times of pure evil and hate.
forgiveness. mercy.
no. more. chains. SAVED. SET FREE.
and truly, i have left a lot at the Cross of Jesus. and then, in one moment, one world crumbling moment, the gates of Hell attempted to unleash HAVOC on me by my the death of my late mother. god rest her soul.
the devil tries to be genius here. he lured me into believing in these past few months that with death comes the past- and if you let it, in your weakness, it's inescapable presence will begin to strangle you.
what i had experienced, the loss i had endured, the pain, the heartbreak, the abuse, the neglect, the PURE EMTPINESS of 23 years came RUSHING in...and the pain was UNRELENTING.
left at 24 years old, soon to be 25 with only one parent, the enemy put the thought in my head of GREAT expectation on my father. my earthly father. and after the passing of my mother, my only living parent.
my father is unsaved. what he believes i'm not sure, but his outwardly actions and lack of emotional attachment to his daughters during this loss make it clear to me that we are not his priority.
in this moment of weakness, a moment of extreme vulnerability, a sink or swim moment where i needed to feel abundantly loved, supported, and comforted, i was...thrown to the wayside. BY my EARTHLY father.
the devil began to have a field day invading my thoughts. he convinced me that just like in my PAST, (which i THOUGHT i had been redeemed from in Jesus)- i had no LOVE- the cycle was beginning to REPEAT ITSELF and i would NEVER escape it.
my mind began flooding with fear, sadness, anxiety, anger...
questions OVER AND OVER plaguing me, keeping me restless at night and just as restless during the day- that soon turned into statements...
"i will never find true love and be healed and whole and ready to commit in a marriage because of my PAST."
"these walls will never be broken."
"i am way too insecure, ugly, broken and scarred to ever take this mask off."
"i will never let my guard down because if my parents don't love me...who can?"
i began to live in fear. in pain.
fear so plaguing that just a couple of months of it left me so emotionally, physically, and mentally drained i ended up in the hospital.
what i failed to remember during all of this was one CRUCIAL point...one point spoken to me LAST week at Legacy night at Highlands and one reiterated to me this morning. an, as i LOVE to refer to them because they happen to me SO often:
a divine appointment.
a point that God reassured me is NEVER GOING TO CHANGE. EVER.
God gives me (and you!) a GODLY HERITAGE.
I AM NOT NAMED BY MY HISTORY. AND I NEVER WILL BE.
Here's the best part. Are you ready?
NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR HISTORY!
Only Satan does because it's his greatest weapon to attack us.
If the enemy could keep us wrapped in bondage, glued in the past for even FIVE minutes more, it's FIVE minutes that we are NOT fulfilling and living the life GOD WANTS FOR US!
the greatest way to let get to the LIFE God INTENDS FOR US is to FACE our insecurities and untruths.
it's a LIE. the enemy is a LIAR.
i was rocked by this message- both times i heard it in different contexts. within less than a week.
perhaps because the first time i heard it, i just didn't let it sink in enough. i didn't dwell on gods victory, truth, or glory as much as i needed to.
here it is, here's what i heard this morning:
i am not complete in my transformation in Christ. but i refuse to let the enemy deter me on my way.
two things i must not forget in my process, on my way to healing and deliverance in my heart and in my life:
i have been SAVED AND SET FREE. that will never change. i will always be able to go back to the day, (EXACTLY TWO YEARS IN TWO DAYS) and remember when God rescued me.
second, and most important: it's OKAY to be exactly where i am. in an extreme process of extreme healing and TRUE, RAW deliverance from everything in my life...
the enemy has no hold over me, over my family, and over my life. why? because I serve a GOD who is a God of the HERE AND NOW. Who isn't concerned with throwing my past in my face, but rather...
using it for his glory.
my brokeness=beautiful to Him.
my weakness=His strength inside of me.
my insecurity= nonexistent in comparison to His beautiful VISION of me.
my HEART= in His hands.
i VOW...in this process, EXACTLY WHERE I AM...in this here and now, not to forget...
that Gods beautiful, inexchangable gift has
RESTORED my relationship with Him, and has GIVEN ME
BACK MY LIFE! The life for me that was planted in His heart thousands of years ago, that He longs to see me fulfill...
glory filled. joy filled. God filled.
abundant blessings. triumphant victory. overwhelming redemption.
the OLD IS GONE.
THE NEW HAS COME.
thank you, Jesus.
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